Falling In Love, A Partner Dance

My favorite part of the fall is the beginning. The part where you're on the cusp, and you're aware of what's going on but it hasn't quite happened yet. You're sitting there evaluating your decision, going over your roster and working out the kinks. Like, how do you tell Consultant Bae that Lawyer Bae is taking over his usual Tuesday night slot? It's bad enough that you've been cutting into your weekends trying to make sure nothing overlaps. Doctor Bae nearly had you double booked with his enticing offer on Thursday night, knowing damn well his usual night is Monday. But, what happens when you get so infatuated and enamored with one, that you're ready to just discard the whole line up - or at least put em on the bench for now? Sorry to break it to you, but you may (or may not) feel some initial guilt. All depends on the magnitude of emotions you've invested into the situation. If you really connected with someone and enjoyed their company, it can be kind of hard to let them go. I think a lot of us struggle with this part. Letting go so that the other person can have all of them back and be whole again. We tend to love by leaving pieces of ourselves, that are exchanged when engaging in sexual intercourse. It's important to know and recognize this concept because not everyone is good for you. Think about what you put in your body. The quality of what you intake should always be of the most high. Whether it's food, hygiene products, friends, wine, or penis - stop accepting subpar quality for yourself. If you allow a subpar man to enter your body, your energy will be that of his, subpar. 

It's important to be able to recognize the quality of your relationships before you fall. If you don't understand the ways in which a relationship is unhealthy and detrimental to your well-being, you might end up falling for the wrong person. It's okay to get it wrong by the way. It's part of learning, and growing up. You're more than likely not gonna get it right at a young age. It's a little bit harder to be aware of these things when you're younger. You're mostly just caught up in the hoopla of life, and going through the motions of your routines. The good thing is that through your failed relationships you (should) learn a lot about yourself. I think this is the place where you really begin to see what works for you and what doesn't. Knowing what works for you and what doesn't is what's going to help you to be more aware when dating your next partner. You'll already have standards set and expectations that you can kindly refer people to, just in case they get you fucked up at any point, which is pretty damn inevitable given human tendencies. The ideal relationship doesn't happen without you stating your likes and dislikes. Being honest with your partner(s) is the healthiest thing you can do. This includes the time that comes when you realize you're no longer interested in sharing an emotional connection with someone. This isn't me saying that you have to explain to EVERY single person you've slept with that you don't want to anymore. This also isn't to say that you should ghost every partner you've had. Now back to the good stuff. When do you know that you're falling?

• They're on your mind. A LOT.
• You listen to their likes and dislikes
• You find yourself a lot more emotionally invested in them, than you were initially
• You change the way you respond or react to things that may upset your partner , based on being emotionally aware and responsible.

• You'd like to spend most of your free time with them
• You figure out that you're emotionally invested after your first quarrel
• You find their quirks adorable
• You call them to share exciting news because they're one of your closest friends, too.

I think my personal favorite thing about my relationship with Tyler is that he's also my best friend. Initially when we first met, I didn't understand importance of the friendship aspect. I also knew that I liked him, but I wasn't sure that he'd be my end all be all. I just knew I liked the energy that was there when we were together. Now, almost six years later, i'm more in love with my best friend than I have ever been. As each day goes by I can see why we work so well together. I can see the moments when we both are processing and trying to find a way to communicate with the other on their level. I can see him actively working to make sure he does things that will benefit his life and in turn, benefit mine.

There's a dance that takes place when you're in a relationship. I like to call it the balancing act. Both people must take part in the dance in order to ensure that their relationship is in the right space. Both parties must actively understand and work to make sure that they are doing their part in this dance. Sometimes one person may lead and the other will follow, or vice versa. Roles change, but the dance remains the same. Before you fall make sure that the person is someone who will take part in a balancing act with you. Times get tough, and it's not always easy to balance and maintain your footing, but it's always easier if there's someone to catch you when you fall.