We go together like...

...like peanut butter and jelly. Or at least we should. We go together like they do in grease to but there aren't any good analogies about going together like rama lama lama, ka ding a ding de dong. Relationships should be cohesive. Dating is all about finding out who you make the best peanut butter and jelly with.

It sounds relatively simple but it's actually a little bit harder than it sounds, at least in practice anyway.  Don't believe the lies you tell yourself about other peoples' relationships from looking at pictures on social media. Finding the perfect person to make your PB&J sandwich is kinda hard. Okay, so it's actually super hard. Finding your PB&J isn't as easy as it should be. There's a lot of distractions that can lead you to overlook a certain flavor. Think of yourself as a sommelier, but for PB&J. When you're having a glass of wine, a sommelier will tell you absolutely every single flavor you should taste in your glass. Here's where it gets tricky. So now you know that the person doesn't quite match the flavors you've listed in your PB&J sandwich. Your perfect ingredients are almost all the way there, but the flavors a little weak in some areas, and stronger in others. That's not the perfect PB&J sandwich though, and you're getting distracted by stronger flavors. We all know the what the distracting flavor is, and if you don't, it's sex. Let's be real. Sometimes the sex is so great you overlook that you're missing a key ingredient. It's like you got the peanut and the jelly, but not the butter. Just peanuts. So the flavors sorta there, but it's not all the way there. Overlooking key ingredients to the sandwich, will make it all wrong. Sex is great but it's not the whole sandwich. If you're looking for more than just sex then it's key that you pay attention to these signs. You will know if there are flavors that shouldn't be there. There are key flavors in the sandwich you gotta have. The peanut butter is trust, and the jelly is communication. Think of the peanut butter as trust because it should be pretty residual. Peanut butter has a lasting and overpowering taste in your mouth. That's why it is the trust. That should residually always be there. Communication as jelly in the sense of movement and fluidity. It should have movement because as an adult you grow and the way you communicate should grow with you as well. The communication is the sweet stuff. Hence, jelly. 

Relationships and dating are hard because you're challenged to not only trust but, also communicate with a human being, and you're kind of expected to do it well. At least, at a certain age you are. If you feel like you're at the point where you want to date, you should make sure you understand that concept. That's a lot of the reason why dating while young is hard. You're still getting to know yourself, and as you grow your understanding of the flavors you bring to the ingredients will change. Some of them you just know, and you have since you were young. Your perception changes as you grow older, so the others come with time and clarity. Give yourself time to figure out what you bring to the sandwich. So that you can better understand what ingredients would complement you best. Communication and trust are the peanut butter and jelly of relationships. You need both to make a good sandwich. The flavor of your sandwich doesn't have to be the same as everyone else. In fact, we all have our own flavor PB&J. I like blueberry jam or apricot for example, but I know there are other people who like traditional grape or strawberry. Once you have the flavors right it should be easier for you to communicate and trust the other person.

That is not to say that communication is easy or that it should be taken lightly. 

Communication is hard. It's actually so hard, that it's one of the reasons you have to actively work in all relationships. It's is hard because it is ever changing. There's a general line of regular communication but you have to work to do it. Let's be clear. Communication is not ever changing in a dramatic sense. More so the aspect that we grow as humans - so the way that we express ourselves and communicate (usually) will grow as well. However, humans are complicated. Only because we're all individually different and can have ego problems though. Sometimes it leads us to not grow well though. Or, to only focus on cultivating the parts we are already familiar with and to focus on those parts so deeply that you fail to realize that you're missing something, and what it is. Learning yourself is hard. As is, learning someone else. So this is why it's sometimes hard to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. You're still figuring out your key ingredients and discovering new ones you didn't know about. Your partner is as well. 

There are going to be flavors within your sandwich that are polar opposites. Others will be partners in their likeness. How you react to them is important. Think about it, if you actually like the person, you're going to have to try. It's not a one sided effort, it's both of you.

We're all annoying. Admit it. You'll sleep better at night if you know the things that make you annoying. Don't be ashamed of them though. It's just life. Own that shit.

You're going to do things that the other doesn't like. It's natural. It's normal. If you actually like the person, you're going to have to be a lot more conscious about what the other person likes and doesn't like. Mindfulness is a key to being more cohesive.

As you grow, both individually and together, you should still be paying attention to those things. Also be willing to accept that sometimes those things change. It's a part of growing up. I think when you have been with someone for a long time it is easy to forget. It's also easy to overlook when you first begin dating each other and can sometimes lead to poor communication habits. How you communicate is crucial. The environment at which you communicate the things you disagree on is even more important. You are going to disagree. You do not need to fight or yell every time you do. You're going to have sensitivities. Listening and working to ameliorate the situation is an absolute must. Give the person time to express their dislikes. Give yourself, and them, time to change those things. You cannot expect a 180 the next day. You can expect small changes throughout the course of time though.

This is something that applies really to all relationships that are based in love. It doesn't have to be with a romantic partner. It could be a family member or another loved one. Humans are sensitive. How we love differs from person to person. As I'm getting older, I'm figuring out how to apply the peanut butter and jelly to all of my relationships.