Chaos Soup

Let’s talk about Chaos Soup.

I think it’s a meal that at some point in every human beings’ life, you’ve been served at least once. Some households serve it more than others – so much so that the children nearly expect it. Growing up the choices are fairly limited. As it is in most households, you get what your parents serve you. The plate can have a myriad of things on it, some nourishments, fun foods, and of course, the age-old classic, chaos soup. 

I can share that from experience, I had gotten so used to the chaos soup that my life felt incomplete without it at the table. Once I realized I was missing this normal item, I found ways to add it back to my plate. Whether it was that I stirred my own pot of chaos soup, or that I took a bowl of it from someone else’s household, there it was. Providing me with a comfort and solace of my childhood that I felt slipping away. 

As a teenager and also in the early adult years, it seems like this staple soup – is well exactly that – a staple. Even though it’s far from a staple. You don’t need it. No matter how many times you were served said soup in childhood, it’s not a necessity. The innate desire that comes from within that says otherwise, is just your fears of the unknown and slight (or extreme) discomfort at the thought of living a life without recognizable chaos. 

From having been served chaos soup from a young age, you readily recognize the ingredients by the time you reach adulthood. With recognition comes memory, and also all the ways at which you made it through said memory. Though I’d argue that at many points in our lives, we’re allowed to evaluate what’s on our tables and plates and decide what more we want to add. The chaos may not have been served, but as a way to prepare for the unexpected, we add a bowl of recognizable soup. It’s this feeling that it can’t be so bad, because you’ve had it and are used to the outcomes and taste. You’ve had years of experience with the not so great taste in your mouth and after a while, it’s not so bad. Besides, one of the other options is having an even worse soup, with more foul flavors than you’d like. It’s much easier to stick to what you know than it is to take the leap of faith and jump over your fears. 

It's important to recognize in life that sometimes chaos is caused by the ingredients we add to our daily lives because we see them as staple parts of our life’s recipe. The reality is that they’re not. No matter how many years you’ve spent cooking with the ingredients and adding the soup to each meal they are still not staples. The chaos in life that we can’t control isn’t the same kind of chaos that I’m describing. I’m speaking simply to the habits and idiosyncrasies that we picked up in childhood. The ones that are so ingrained and intertwined into our upbringing that we don’t think or blink twice at what’s being served. 

Take the time to clear your table. To intentionally think about all of the things you want for your life and how you’re going to get there. Think about how you know you’re likely to succeed and move forward practicing habits that further that outcome. Do your best to let go of the toxicity you learned in childhood. Let go of the chaos soup recipe that your parents passed down to you because it doesn’t have to be generational. It’s not some sacred family recipe that you have to pass on to your kids. You’re allowed to make new soup. One with significantly less chaos, that leaves your heart, soul, and face with a smile.