Changing Perspectives

Photography is a love and passion of mine because it mirrors the idea in life that everything is not always what it seems - it tricks the eye - creating a new scope for the viewer. As a photographer it allows you to make and share your own perspectives. Depending on the perspective, the shot can be different than what the reality is. I think I connected so strongly with that part of photography because my life has always been a constant back and forth between people thinking that my life is one way over another - due to the perspective that I had decided to give them.

My photography has always represented where I am mentally. If my brain is clouded, my photos are trash and just a bunch of empty iPhone selfies (here's the part where I should probably say that I think cell phone selfies are overrated and faux pas - I'm not, I'm still all the way here for them). iPhone selfies are BOMB AF but, they don't compare to an SLR Selfie a.k.a. Self Portrait. I love setting up a shot for a self portrait. Sometimes I take them to be silly, other times I get an idea and I decide to shoot. When I was in high school I was much more free about what I posted (I'm sure that's hard to believe for most of the people who are friends with me now, I know crazy to think I was more open than I currently am). Much more free in the sense that I was into posting raw photos. Raw as in the subject. I was infatuated with changing the settings on my camera and adding way more contrast than necessary. At some point I became so consumed with perfection and flawlessness that I stopped appreciating the beauty of flaws and imperfections. I stopped using photography to capture lightness and buoyancy but instead to capture darkness and sadness. I went through a really dark period trying to understand myself, my friends, my family, and the seemingly endless life struggles. Eventually I put my camera down and only held my cell phone. I stopped taking photos of things that made me happy because my environment wasn't happy. This was around 3 years ago. I would pick up my camera to photograph a few landscapes here and there. Or for commissioned projects, but not for personal pleasure.

Outside of the self portraits and photographing people in their candid and natural element, I also love landscape photography. It's one of my favorites. My dad took beautiful landscape photos of New York City and Brooklyn that were on our walls growing up. I've always been inspired by his landscape shots so I've definitely tried to emulate his eye. We all have a deep and personal connection to the things we're passionate about. For me, my dad's love for photography was a heavy influence during my childhood and is a gigantic factor in my love for it. Dealing with cyclothymic depression causes your brain to produce a lot of negative thoughts. For a long time I used to use the Internet and Social Media only to express my discontent and darker thoughts. Whether it be my displeasure with government on Twitter, my angry FaceBook posts about racial and gender (sometimes both simultaneously) inequality, dark humored posts on Instagram and/or lengthy (well deserved) SnapChat rants -  I never used it to be positive. I would just get my frustrations out, without trying to find a resolution. I found myself frustrated and stuck in this easy-to-get-into negative energy that I couldn't shake. After making small but key changes in my life, I'm finally dreaming of beautiful photography and images again. Healing my wounds and facing my anxieties head on was the best thing I could do for my art. I can day dream and look forward to backgrounds, shoots, candids, and landscapes. It feels great to be in a this space of mental, physical, and emotional clarity and confidence. My photographs are starting to reflect more of the positivity and this year I'm making the effort share this same energy online and not just in person.

The picture at the beginning of this post is an example of the power of perception: I went to Miami last year and shot a series of a flower wall in Wynwood. I enjoy this example because the colors are so beautiful and luring. The flower wall looks different in every single one of the photos. Using different distance you can see the wall as it is -- a surviving decoration from a deserted concert venue. The wall by itself, making it look more majestic and vibrant. And finally, the close up of the flowers, focusing on the colors, the flowers and all of the extraordinary natural beauty in a wall of flowers. You can view the series in this gallery.